“I decided to stop eating. Last Sunday. I’m on a cleanse. Or fast. Just yoga and distilled water. No coffee. No writing from Kéan or Kit. I weighed 190 on Sunday. Most ever. This morning, 186.3. Some say it’s “water weight.” If I keep it off, is it still water weight? Tonight, another hot yoga class. Sweating. Cleaning out the physical part of me. We have two parts: physical and mental. Our body and our thoughts. But they are so connected, these two. And when the body is hungry, or physically stretched, or both, amazing things happen to our minds. So no trendy diet. No paleo. This is not about just weight — it’s about awareness.”

(Afterthoughts: As I sit here and feel the pain of hunger, I do it knowing I’m not starving. Some say this is bad for me. But it doesn’t feel bad for me. The feeling of eating one or two of the free sandwiches offered in the lunch room — that would feel bad. The feeling of being bloated. Of suddenly getting tired, which always happens after I eat lunch. No, this feeling of wanting food makes me alert. The craving for food makes my mind alert. It brings me so much closer to my own humanity. The humanity, the animal part of my being — the primitive desire for food. By ridding ourselves of that which we desire, only then do we experience our frailty. Our cravings. In times like these we are more aware of our non-physical selfs, our spirit.)